User talk:DarkenedFire
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the I found a homemade snuff film page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! SoPretentious (talk) 19:43, June 26, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:49, June 26, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:52, June 26, 2016 (UTC) Re: Story The stories were deleted since they were both below quality standards for the site. As there is a lot of overlapping of issues on both stories, I'll focus on "Nothing but confusion" with the understanding that the issues present there are also present on "I found a homemade snuff film" (although that one also has a lot of capitalization and punctuation issues too). Starting with the basics that really don't have much impact on a story's deletion, but are still literary essentials: the title "Nothing but confusion" is improperly capitalized. Additionally, the stories were improperly formatted which can lead to a wall of text, paragraphs being improperly joined, etc. This was how your stories were formatted: "Now, the area I grew up in was suburban, but the folks can be rather redneck. Seeing someone come out of the woods with a shotgun is worry some, but usually just means it was a poacher." Punctuation: Apostrophes missing from possessive words. "My brother was little at the time, and had been at a friend(')s house". Wording: "Seeing someone come out of the woods with a shotgun is worry some (worrisome)" There are also a lot of fragmented sentences here. "Pitch black.", "Winter.", "Cold.", "Isolated.", "Kids asleep upstairs.", etc. While its usage every now-and-then can enhance a story, overusing them tends to result in the story feeling broken/choppy. Tense issues: There are a lot of tense issues here. As the story is being told in past tense, the tenses need to reflect that. "My parents pick (picked) my brother up, load (loaded) him into their car, and start (started) driving home.", "As they are (were) leaving the neighborhood to get to the main road, they see (saw) a man come out of the woods with a shotgun", etc. Story issues: "This story takes place in 1977. The cast of characters includes my mom, my dad, my brother, and of course, the serial killer." This is a really awkward opening to a story, it gives away what's going on way too early in the plot. Knowing that the man with the shotgun is a serial killer upfront really weakens the overall story. Additionally since it's only stated he killed one person during the story and with no evidence of multiple people being killed, he technically isn't a serial killer until you clarify who they were. Story issues cont.: Also having the killer information upfront really removes tension from the story. As this information has been relayed to the narrator, we know that nothing happened to either of his parents so there really isn't a sense of suspense or tension here. On a final note, I vaguely remember this story being told to me a few months ago by another user with almost the same events occurring. Did you write both of these stories? EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:56, June 26, 2016 (UTC)